My only lame joke in life is, that I refer to love as L’oeuf, aka the egg. And whilst this post is somewhat ‘scrambled’ in its articulation, I hope it will still provide clarity as to what constitutes the perfect egg, with that golden-orange yolk, all molten and viscous, running deliciously into the shining whiteness enclosing it, oh the beauty! Let’s get started.
People always say, “we’re just friends”, as though it somehow ranked lower than a romance.
A good (platonic) friend is worth your weight in gold. You can discuss anything with them, or just talk about mundane things (but it clears your head), and you enjoy the time you spend with them, and you make time just to get a small dose of them, because you always walk away feeling better in life.
And a good friend is one who you’d make time for even when there wasn’t any tangible or material benefit whatsoever from knowing them. That is how great a good platonic friendship can be.
Now, the difference between apes and humans is about 2 chromosomes pairs from 23.
That is about the same difference between good friends and a romantic pair. Continue reading
Judgement is a symptom of a lack of an intelligent thought process.
Assessment takes time and critical-thinking skills.
Judgement is a knee-jerk reaction based on a superficial scan of limited information. It leads to drawing half-baked assumptions and worse, acting as though those assumptions were true.
Persons who tend towards judgement are usually those who 1) have led relatively insular lives and carefully keep it that way, for fear of the unknown and 2) tend not to clarify their assumptions, instead preferring to seek – any – validation, however flimsy, to support their half-baked assumptions thus maintaining their preferred illusions. Negative questions are posed, if at all, such as, “you don’t like punk rock, do you?”, forcing the person being asked to have to ‘defend’ themselves against a whole slew of pre-conceived notions, regardless of whether their answer to the negative question is yes or no.
Assessment, on the other hand is the intake of information and the setting aside of it, until more information is presented or can be drawn out by way of posing positive questions. If the same question is asked positively i.e. “do you like punk rock”, the person being asked can simply answer with the facts. They don’t feel judged or feel like they have to ‘explain’ their answer because it doesn’t match the answer the questioner was expecting. Careful that the positive questions aren’t asked with squinted eyes and changed voice-modulations, because then, despite the wording, they end up being a negative question.
To assess i.e. to be patient, to cross-reference, to accept that others have life-experiences that are beyond your own imaginings and that the permutations and combinations are endless, and that someone may be having a bad day (or life) and that their odd behavior has nothing to do with you, to avoid presuming to ‘know’ someone and making assumptions – and should any crop up – to first clarify them with honest positive questions and communication, is to be mature, intelligent and quite frankly, more civilized.
You can’t go back and change the past. What is done is done.
It is now, as it now is. Tat Sat. That which is, is.
How to forgive yourself:
Face it. Trace it. Erase it. Don’t repeat that thought / word / action. But if you find yourself repeating it, forgive yourself, and continue to not repeat it. Self-awareness is the trick here, just be aware of you what you are thinking, as opposed to blindly thinking it and as a result blindly speaking or acting along the same vein.
Face it and Trace it: Name what you did without sugarcoating. Then just go through what you did, step by step, without judgement. Face the beast within you. This is the hardest part. The shame of looking in the mirror and acknowledging the beast within us can have us bent over in physical pain. To know we are the same in our own eyes as the persons we normally decry is e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y hard. Continue reading
Berlin Wonderland – Wild Years Revisited 1990-1996 is an exhibition designed to promote a new book, that by way of photographs taken in the years immediately following the 1989 fall of the Berlin wall, describes the experiential worlds of those who moved into the districts that were previously nudged up against the West Berlin border.
This Video is from Nineteen Eighty Nine. Yep, before Nineties, before the Noughties, and before the decade we’re almost halfway through. It’s an interview with a guy called Marc Christian, a former lover of the actor Rock Hudson. Now, Rock Hudson never did overtly come out of the closet, and seemed to be unaware that world actually knew he was gay and dying of AIDS, but that is not the point of this article.
Heat and sunlight pours down onto the gigantic cube. Amiably blocking the flow are the nimbus formations, grey-blue and ponderous, suspended and splendid in the hot blue sky. Continue reading
If you say to someone (or someone says to you), things like:
“I’m not ready for a relationship right now”
They burgle. They steal. It’s what they do to survive – it’s their only viable skill. So if you’re close to a burglar, you must accept this is how they are with the world. They don’t know any other way to live or to stay above the why-the-hell-do-I-wake-every-morning line.
This is their MO. They take from others and capitalize upon it. They befriend everybody, but the entire time they are staking out what they can take from them unnoticed, how often, and to what extent. They will also plan their exit well in advance and may make one final heist before disappearing, not caring if this time they are found out, as they don’t ever plan to make an appearance again.
So what on earth is a good burglar? Continue reading