Settling Down vs. Settling In

When I hear people say ‘I want to settle down’, what I am hearing is ‘I want to get frumpy and paunchy, and wear my sweats everywhere, and make lame jokes that don’t deserve to be laughed at, and fill my day with mundane routines and busywork because I can let myself go with this other person’.

I never want to settle down.

I want to settle in. Have a happy home that is cozy and sweet and full of easy laughter. Routines get reinvented by each partner (or member of the household, in case we ‘be fruitful and multiply’) on a daily, hourly, weekly, or lifetime basis, as long as everyone is happy and able to dance around and with each other.

Once you have this crib sorted, space loses its limits, there are no edges, you will reach the final atom floating out there by itself, marvel at it as people with happy home lives always marvel at everything, and turn around and with a finger stir up the universe a bit, so that the edges get fuzzy again.

You will try new things on your own own, with each other, alone but because the other person said you ought to “at least once!”, and try out new things just so you can tell your partner they should try it too. And if they want to be taught you teach them, and if they want to figure it out themselves, you let them.

Anyway I am officially hook-up girl now, as my 20 years of visions and predictions have come to naught. It just goes to show, your other half may be right there in front of you, but they may be so busy trying to get ‘one more in’ before they ‘settle down‘ that you just fade out of their radar into complete insignificance.

Anyhow, who the hell wants someone who wants to settle down. It means I get lumped with the boring do-nothing but sit-around version, while all the other girls get dinner and wine and movies and conversations and exhibitions and sexy and fun. I don’t want to wait around for boring. So I’ll have fun alone till nobody will talk to me anymore because I got old and less cute. And then I’ll just fade away into my corner with my Kindle.


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